I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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