He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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