the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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