Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You work out of a Hotel?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Randomize
