just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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