New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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