my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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