That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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