I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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