I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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