She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
