If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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