Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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