He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
