Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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