And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize