No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
