I'm so fucking centered right now
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
