If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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