I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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