She's JV to your varsity
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
