She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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