How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
