There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
