He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize