Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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