she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
