At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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