We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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