I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
