ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
