He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize