are you still at the devil's house?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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