i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
