I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
