last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
