Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
