David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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