my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
