theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
