I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
