Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
