In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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