what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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