If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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