Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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