u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
they're like a gay fantastic four
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
