I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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