He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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