You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
