we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
