pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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