I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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