I need help removing her.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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