I wanna passion pit in your ass
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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