I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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