You smell like stripper and shame
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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