i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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