i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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