Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
