Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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