Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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