just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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