I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I AM VODKA MAN
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
