..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
