I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
