I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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