Please, let me fuck your mom
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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