Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
