I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
