i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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